


Johnson & Jonsson

by Trickster_Gabriel



Category: Original Work
Genre: ...only around 9 years though, Age Difference, Bisexuality, Car Accidents, Closeted Character, College, Demisexuality, Friendship, Gay Bar, Gender Identity, Gender Roles, Genderfluid Character, Homosexuality, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Letters, Loss of Parent(s), Multi, New Orleans, Non-Consensual Touching, Self-Discovery, Sexuality, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Gabriel/pseuds/Trickster_Gabriel
Summary: This is a letter the main character of my original story "Johnson &; Jonsson" wrote to his parents. (I'm currently writing this story, so it's a WIP.)





	1. Ashley's Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my planned end for "Johnson & Jonsson", but I had already written it, so why the heck not!

Mom and Dad,

First, let me apologize. I’ve disrespected you both and you certainly didn’t raise me that way. Surely you understand why I have been reluctant to do this. These years of silence have not been easy ones. I’m only to this point now from the encouragement of my family, friends and my newfound partner. I never once thought I would be allowed to say that, let alone be allowed to have such special people in my life.

How have you guys been? That seems a little casual for around 17 years of almost no communication, doesn’t it? Can you believe it, I’m 33. I can’t help feeling like yesterday I was only 16. If you asked me then if I had any clue of what was to come I may have thought I had it all planned out. All I had ever wanted then was to be the best version of myself that would please you. I had a simple plan. Graduate high school. Go to college and work my way to a lifelong career. Along the way, I would fall in love with a girl and make her my wife. After we would’ve gotten married, you would have had a few grandkids running around your house. That’s as far I got with that plan. There was no way I could think of you guys getting older and moving on from this life. What kid would?

As you know, later in my 16th year, I was that kid. Of course death comes to us all, but that didn’t mean I was prepared for it. I can handle thinking about it now, but there is no way I can remove that day from the back of my eyes like an accidental tattoo. It had been late June. School was out and life was good. The world was bright and warm. Even then people were dying all over the world, I just hadn't noticed it yet because it hadn’t made it to our neck of the woods.

I asked you guys if Bobby, my best friend of that time, could come over and hang out. It was simple enough in my head. You had both agreed easily enough, but Mom had to say, “Of course Bobby can come over Ashley, but you kids need to get out and enjoy the sun too instead of just video games!”

I called him up on the phone and he was soon on his way. Bobby walked into the doorway and stepped inside. Our home had always been like his second house. Without any thought, he made sure to say his hellos to the both of you before he joined me in the living room. I told him what you had said Mom, so we both raced out to the front lawn. The sun soaked into our skin and we were alive. Breathe in and breathe out. I know I took that for granted then, but it had been okay because it hadn’t mattered.

Bobby and I screwed around like always. We tossed a football back and forth until Bobby tackled me to the ground. My back met the grass, while his weight toppled right upon mine. As he looked down at me and laughed, sunlight streamed through his chocolate, brown hair. His hazel eyes lit up with mirth as I tried to push him off to no avail. In the next moment, Bobby jumped up with over abounding energy.

He looked at me as I pushed up off the lawn and said, “Give yourself some credit. I almost thought you might just knock me off!”

I quipped back immediately. “Just because you happen to be the “Giant” here doesn’t mean that I’m not stronger than you. One day I’ll be your match! The name is Jack!”

Bobby just gave me a look of skepticism and headed for the door. Our rough housing had gotten me a little tired and I wanted to knock his ego down by beating him in some video games.

We walked back into the house and went straight for the stairs. I remember you yelling “Dinner will be done in about an hour, boys!” as we raced up the steps to my room. Sometimes, I can’t help but wish we had stayed outside like you said. I know now that every action, no matter how difficult to understand, is meant to be.

Bobby settled himself down in the center of the floor and I started up my old gaming console. Like tradition had been, I loaded Mario Kart up on my T.V. screen and we picked our characters. Bobby had picked Donkey Kong and I went with Toad. I was really planning on ripping him a new one during that game play! It was supposed to be best two out of three, but I begged Bobby to play another round at least three more times. The 6th round was truly a legendary one. I had rarely beat Bobby at Mario Kart, but in that round I completely destroyed him! It was glorious.

As Toad raced through the finish line in first place, my jaw dropped and I immediately snapped my head over to see Bobby’s reaction. His face mirrored mine, but with an even larger amount of astonishment. His eyebrows had shot up his forehead and his jaw dropped so far I was suspicious that it might come unhinged. With that, I raised my fist into the air and shouted in triumph. I looked over at Bobby and I expected for him to list of a ton of reasons why that round was nothing short of a miracle, but to my confusion he didn’t.

Instead Bobby’s face assumed a look I couldn’t have comprehended at the time. All around us, the delicious aroma of home cooked dinner wafted through the air, but we just didn’t notice. Bobby scooched towards me and his pupils were blown. He really looked like he was going to lunge at me, so I tensed my body in preparation. I wasn’t going to lose wrestling match number two. In the background, footsteps sounded up the stairs, but once again neither of us had our minds on that.

Instead of throwing his body weight in my direction to crush me to the floor, Bobby continued to lean into me until only his lips crushed into mine. Let’s pause there for a moment. Logically, I shouldn’t have blamed myself for not predicting his move or for not smelling the telling signs of a ready dinner or for not hearing Dad’s footsteps up the stairs, but those thoughts plagued me for years. Okay, let’s continue. As his lips pressed to mine all I could do was freeze in shock. I don’t know what else I should have done. My brain simply short circuited.

All too quickly, there was a creak near the door and a low, surprised gasp. Bobby and I quickly cocked our head’s to the door, but it was slammed shut followed by footsteps down the stairs. Without thinking, I ran towards the door. Bobby latched onto my arm and looked at me with a face of regret, but somehow hopefulness. I managed a “I’m sorry Bobby” and yanked my arm from his grasp. I continued to dash out of my room and down the stairs just in time to hear you guys whispering quite loudly.

Dad, I heard you try to calmly say, “Hun, dinner looks great, but we need to go for a drive. Now.” Mom hadn’t seen what you had saw, so she didn’t understand.

She commented with concern, “Okay, but we can’t be out for long because the food will get cold!”

As you both were heading towards the door, I shouted after you Dad, but you just said, “It’s all fine son! Your Mom and I just need to chat!”

Then you both were out the door and out of the driveway, so quickly that I couldn’t have even caught you if I tried. And lord, had I tried.

At the sound of all of the commotion, Bobby rushed down the stairs in order to ask me what was going on. As I filled him in, all he could do was apologize. I assured him as much as I was trying to assure myself that everything was going to be fine.

In order to break the awkward atmosphere, I looked over at him playfully and stated, “Though if you want to be on my good side you can’t go around kissing people without their consent. It’s downright disrespectful!” Bobby’s eyes lit up with renewed energy and he sighed with relief.

“So that was okay, kind of?”, Bobby had questioned.

“Dude, let me just say you don’t have to worry about it and let’s leave it at that for another time. My Dad just ran out of the house and I don’t know what’s going to happen once he returns, so can we just play some more video games for today?”

I hoped he would just say yes and he actually did. We marched back up the stairs and continued playing Mario Kart.

I don’t know how much time had passed, but I started to get extremely anxious once the sun started going down. Bobby must have sensed my apprehension because he offered to stay the night just in case my parents didn’t return until the next morning. I thanked him for the offer, but I told him he was better off going home. He looked like he was going to protest, but he just did what I suggested, gathered his belongings and walked home. Not before catching me in a hug, but he was out the door soon enough.

Bobby had left to return home. I was alone with my thoughts. I imagined hundreds of scenarios of what Dad had felt before he fled the house. None of them were positive. Even though we hadn’t talked about it then, there was no way you guys were homophobic. As my parents, you showed me how to live as a respectable human being. You taught me to always show respect as long as harm wasn’t being done. Regardless of that, demons had their way with my juvenile mind. I couldn’t help, but to picture Dad bursting into the door and throwing me out of the home we shared.

Right down into my bones I feared how I would be punished for not being the perfect son. The perfect son with the perfect wife and the perfect kids. Over and over, these thoughts ran rampant throughout my mind until I was shocked back to life with a ring of the telephone. I remember pausing for a moment out of fear before I ran down the stairs to pick up the phone. How long had it taken me to pick up the phone? Back then, I took that time for granted. I had no idea who would be on the other end of that telephone line, but I had been thankful for something, anything, to break the numbing silence.

Out of breath, I answered the phone. “Hello? This is Ashley Johnson. My parents aren’t currently at home.” I received a hitched breath in return. A professional sounding voice calmly explained the following.

“You are Ashley Johnson of 545 North St., yes?” I slowly agreed. “Due to this means of communication, I’m only allowed to disclose the pertinent information. Gwyneth Johnson and Noland Johnson have been in an accident and this number was their ICE. You need to come to Westminster Hospital. Once you arrive, go the front desk and you will be given further information. Do you need directions?”

The next few days felt both like a roller coaster ride through warp speed and maple syrup. Honestly, my memory from after that phone call is still quite fuzzy even after all of these years. I owe my survival completely to Uncle Tom. I remember calling him up and slurring off to him the information I had received from the phone call. From then out, he supported my weight on top of his own personal devastation.

At the time of your guys’ accident, I became a shell of my myself. That shell of mine was only weighed down on earth by my immeasurable mass of guilt and shame. My only thoughts during that time led me to the conclusion that your car accident was directly caused by what you witnessed between Bobby and I. I never once blamed him for what happened to the both of you. Once the word got around town that the two of you hadn’t survived your car accident, Bobby couldn’t be in the same room as me without breaking down. It destroyed me that I couldn’t comfort him and convince him the accident wasn’t his fault. But how could I have convinced him if I couldn’t convince myself?

Before I met my partner, Matteus, I would look back at myself of that time and regret that I gave up on our home, my school and our town. In your living will, you both had decided to not be put on life support and to leave your possessions in my name if I was older than 18 or to put me under the guardianship of Tom Waring if you were ever in an accident. In the wake of your deaths, I could simply not function with something to remind me of you both at every waking moment.

Thankfully, Uncle Tom recognized my downward spiral within the few months after your accident and decided that both he and I had needed a change of scenery. It’s not as though either of us had anything against our town or the people within it. It’s just that neither of us could bare to continue our lives there without out you in it. Upon that conclusion, Uncle Tom had decided to accept a job offer he had open at a precinct down in New Orleans.

In preparation for the move, Uncle Tom had worked together with me to pack up your belongings and sort through what should be kept and what was replaceable. Tom made no comment as a silently cried through the whole process. I remember seeing pictures of us in the backyard for summer meals and thinking that we would never have new memories as a family again. Uncle Tom took care of the financial aspects of selling the house and setting up living arrangements in New Orleans.

With that, we had set for our new home with a packed trailer and hopes for a fresh environment. My expectations hadn’t been high for a new start. I hadn’t believed that becoming a new student for a school in another state for my junior year would turn out well either. When Uncle Tom and I moved into our new home and I got enrolled into a high school for my junior year I was anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop.

To my surprise, the new environment and dynamic had only served me well. That didn’t mean I hadn’t broken down countless times, but I was able to function. The voice in my mind that blamed me for your deaths had gotten quieter. Mind you, it stayed on repeat in the background until several years later, but like I said, it had gotten quieter at the time.

And how could I have heard it anyways? During my first week of high school at Doxey Dragons, I met a fireball named Marie Davis. She was exactly what I needed. Marie Davis, a dose of pure energy and power! With the combination of Marie, her girlfriend Taylor and Uncle Tom I was able to truly enjoy my last two years of high school. When we had moved away from my home town, I thought I would never be a part of a true family again, but they gave that to me and Uncle Tom made sure to get picture evidence at any opportunity.

When my senior year of high school came around I had already decided to follow in the footsteps of Uncle Tom and get hired at the precinct in New Orleans that he had worked at. Even though I had gears turning for the future, I significantly changed my previous life plans that I thought would have made me the perfect son. I mean, let’s face it. Even when I had that plan I hadn't known I wasn't straight. I just knew that for whatever reason I most likely would never be able to fall in love with a woman and bring healthy grandchildren into this world.

With your deaths, I scrapped that plan and decided to become career oriented only. Before I met Matteus, I didn’t think I deserved love and a family of my own. I was positive that my purpose should only be to protect and serve my community without looking for aspects of life that would compliment me as a person. And that’s the path I firmly committed myself to for more than a decade. It’s not as if I didn’t have any chances given for more love and a partner. Over the years, I just learned to politely decline companionship of that nature.

It was through an experience like that that I developed a bond with Lieutenant Ramos. After I graduated college and was hired into Uncle Tom’s precinct I worked directly under Lieutenant Ramos. The two of us are separated by only five years, so we became quick work friends. It was only after Ramos saved my behind from a messy drunken club scene that he ever expressed romantic interest in me. Unfortunately, it was that messy drunken club scene that gave him a key into discovering my sexuality. I’m not going to tell you guys my romantic escapades, but long story short, Ramos and I have only ever remained close friends and we both got our respective happy endings. Hopefully! It’s not over yet.

Either way, I met my current partner in a psychology class I had wanted to take to update my career degree at the precinct. I would like to thank you guys for naming me Ashley Johnson because it was my name and Matteus’s that gave us the first reason to speak outside of a professional manner. As the professor of the class, it was normal for Matteus to be addressed formally. At the beginning of the first psychology class of the college year, Matteus wrote their name on the board and I skimmed across it to read “Mr. Jonsson.” Matteus required our class to go around and provide their names and pronouns. When the line got to me I shared that I used he, him, his pronouns and that my name was Johnson.

At that, Matteus looked at the attendance sheet and up to me and asked, “Do you mind being called by your first name? If not, I believe it would divert any future confusion between us.”

I regarded Matteus with a nod and shared that Ashley was the name I could be called by. Before I left class that day, Matteus pulled me aside to make sure that I hadn’t been uncomfortable with being referred to as Ashley. That interaction was only the beginning of a budding relationship that was beyond what I ever thought was possible and beyond what I thought that I deserved.

With Matteus’s help, a brighter and more comfortable world formed around me. Matteus taught me about people, gender, sexuality, romantic attraction, emotional attraction, gender roles and expression. For most of my juvenile and adult life, I barely knew the difference between gender and sex. I perceived Matteus as male when I first encountered them in psychology. Matteus later explained to me that they identify as genderfluid, which means that Matteus varies between male, female, both and neither. I usually just regard Matteus as “they” even though he and she would also function correctly. Matteus also helped me accept parts of myself that I had always believed were wrong and useless. Mom, Dad, sometimes I wear dresses and makeup. You know what? That doesn’t mean anything other than an expression of self. Females and males can wear whatever clothing they want and express themselves however they please. Gender and sex aren’t the same thing and there is multitude of varying types of attraction that I never new existed.

It was the world that I had locked myself away from, but Matteus was the person that taught me that I deserve happiness and love of my own. Thanks to Matteus, Marie, Taylor, Uncle Tom, Ramos and many other lovely people, I have not become the perfect son. I have become the perfect and true version of myself that I love and accept. With their help, I understand now that your accident was not my fault and that you guys will always love me no matter my physical form or who I love as long as I am always happy and healthy.

Mom and Dad, thank you for bringing me into this world. I’m sorry that your lives were cut short, but I imagine you guys are living it up in heaven or in whatever other plane of existence you carry on in. I just want you to know that I will be ready to see you once again when it becomes my time to move on. I have more people to bring to the party and I’m sure you will love them all.

Love you both,  
Your son.  
P.s. Matteus says that they would love to go on nature expeditions with you both once we all meet again. They would also be pleased to hear about all of my childhood escapades. Seriously though, thank you guys for bringing me into a world where Matteus and I could meet.


	2. Why Ashley Always Shaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Ashley Always Shaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not chapter 2 at all, but I felt like posting this plot bit. Not much to it, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! My apologies for the tense issue throughout this bit.

It all started when Uncle Tom invited Ramos over for a drink. Ramos and Uncle Tom have always drank together after Ramos finally earned his title as Lieutenant within the precinct. 

Tom and Ramos lazily chatted about work and their colleagues until Tom began to broach a precarious subject. He simply questioned Ramos about his plans for life and if he was interested in anyone. He followed by asking him if he had plans for kids. 

Ramos wasn’t bothered by the fact that Uncle Tom didn’t know that he wasn’t interested in having a wife, let alone having kids with one. Ramos causally mentioned that he has his eyes on someone, but that he isn’t sure if kids are in the cards for him. 

Uncle Tom asked Ramos if he didn’t want kids because he thought they might dampen his lifestyle. Ramos replied by saying that he just wasn’t sure if he would have the chance, but that he doesn’t dislike them. If anything, they seem like they could be quite cute.

Everything went downhill from that point on. At the mention of cute kids, Tom dashed off as quickly as his alcohol inhibited mind would let him. Ramos stared after him in confusion until the man returned back to the table with a thick photo book. 

Uncle Tom started off by saying that Ramos truly hadn't seen a cute child before he had seen this one. Ramos knew that Uncle Tom hadn’t had kids of his own until he took in Ashley, so Ramos shouldn’t have been surprised to see a baby Ashley covered in filth from a backyard excursion. 

Tom stated that he made sure to collect all of Ashley’s family possessions and definitely to get his childhood photos. They could be used as a good source of blackmail one day. 

Ramos started flipping through the pages of this surprisingly extensive photo collection until he landed upon Ashley's young adult years. He knew that Ashley was gorgeous, but there was something different about the young man in this photo. Somehow more subtly feminine than he is today. 

Their eyes were no different. They still shine with that lively green hue through thick, long lashes. It wasn’t the mouth. His full, lush lips have held up very well against the test of time. The hairstyle wasn’t the source either. If anything, it looked significantly more masculine than that of his today. Then Ramos was forced to think of if there could be anything else. He raised his hand up to his chin in a stance of concentrated thought. His close shaven hair scratched the palm of his hand. Then it hit him. Of course! Young Ashley didn’t sport any facial hair! 

Ramos has never been a shy guy. He has always found it more beneficial to get straight to the point. Meaning he proposed a relationship to Ashley before with a result of bashfully getting turned down. Not that Ashley blushing while looking up to Ramos through long lashes did anything to push him away. But, if Ramos couldn’t be in a relationship with Ashley currently, it did not mean that he couldn’t plant himself into Ashley’s orbit and stare his way. At the moment, Ramos wanted nothing more in his life, not even kids or a partner, then to see Ashley clean shaven. 

But how could he do it? He already knew that Ashley was self conscious about his femininity. He continued to ponder upon this as he absentmindedly flipped through the pages. He gazed down upon the pages just to see whom he thought was Ashley’s mom. That didn’t make sense though. He pulled the photo out and looked at the date on the back. Ashley would have been around his mid-twenties here. She would've passed away years ago. 

Ramos coughed quite loudly, which caused Tom to shift back up in his seat out of his buzzed stupor. Ramos then asked Uncle Tom who the woman in the photo was and if she was somehow a relative of Ashley’s. 

Tom laughed deeply and slapped his knee. Through his laughter, he choked out that Ash would kill him if he knew Ramos of all people had seen that photo. All that served to do was to send Ramos into a confused state. What was so wrong with this photo? 

The center focus of the photo was a young woman. Now, Ramos is not sexually attracted to women, but this woman’s resemblance to Ashley wasn’t helping. Her eyes were that same striking pigment as Ashley’s, but her lashes appeared to be longer and somewhat darker. Upon her head, laid a crown of woven flowers. They seemed natural as if they had sprouted there. The young woman’s face was flushed and she appeared to seem bashful, but she still held an air of subtle confidence and perhaps relief? A light smattering of freckles were displayed upon her face. Her eyebrows were full and thick. Her jaw was sharp and strong. Ramos found an honest appreciation for her features starting to form within him. She was clad in a flower patterned dress that rested just below her knees. With her collar bones and shoulders fully exposed, the dress wrapped itself around her just above her seemingly petite breasts. Ramos questioned if she even had breasts, but it didn’t matter to him since they serve him no personal pleasure anyways. The sleeves of the dress ended right below her elbow. Still lost in concentration, Ramos thought about how this woman emanated strength. This was no dainty girl, but that did not discount from her beauty. If anything, it just provided her a sense of uniqueness. Her collar bones led into her exposed shoulders, both equally pronounced and defined. The dress was long enough to where only her calves were shown and tight muscle could even be spotted there. The photo was too far out to be able to examine her feet or hands, but that was fine for Ramos. He had some questions and he wanted some answers. Ashley didn’t have a twin sister, did he?

Ramos turned looked up from the photo album to see Tom falling back into a drunken sleep. Ramos reached his arm over the table a gently shoved the buzzed man’s shoulder. At that, he had Uncle Tom’s full attention. 

“Seriously though? Who is this?” Ramos questioned. Uncle Tom looked like he was deliberating something right before he began to speak. “Well, you know… Ash doesn’t know I have that photo. One of his college friends slipped it to me.” “I always told his friends that if they had photos of him that I wanted to have copies too.” “I don’t have any children of my own and he doesn’t have parents to look after his memories.” 

Ramos is most certainly not an idiot, so he just went ahead and asked, “So what, is that Ashley?” His voice dripped with disbelief. Ashley was very conscious of his level of masculinity. He already tries hard enough to seem straight, not that Ramos was going to mention that to Tom. He knew Tom wasn’t biased against gays, but Ashley was so nervous about it for some reason. Ashley almost had a full on panic attack when Ramos discovered how not so straight the man was. 

Uncle Tom went into a laughing fit again before explaining the situation. So yes, the “young woman” in the photo was Ashley, but not of his own volition. His close college friend at the time had told Uncle Tom that the photo was a memento of the school’s drag show. Ashley’s dorm mates had evidently pressured the young man into it, which Ramos could believe. Ashley has never been to great with peer pressure unless the outcome might affect his professional work life. 

And so that was it. Ramos had his golden ticket. Begone to Ashley’s facial hair! He would use this photo to blackmail his colleague. It’s not like Ramos would be harming anything. He just wanted to see Ashley’s smooth skin come alive from his days as a young adult. 

He slipped the photo into his pocket and called his drinking session with Tom to an end. He thanked Tom for the drinks and bid him a farewell. Before he stepped out of the front door, he yelled back to Tom, “Hey, I might not have a partner yet, but you’ve given me the next best thing!” 

Ramos slipped into his custom 1970 Dodge Charger and cruised on home. Ramos parked his “special lady” into his garage for safe keeping and cheerfully strode into his house. He flipped on some lights and took out the photo as well as his phone. Ramos mischievously turned on the phone’s camera and snapped a clear photo and sent it to Ashley. 

Within the next half hour Ramos perked up at the ding that sounded from his phone. Ashley had replied to the photo with a supposedly confused, “Who is this Ramos?” Since he’s not a man of games, well not most games, Ramos bluntly replied with a “Anyone with eyes and a little help can tell that the broad in the picture is you.” To that Ramos could see that Ashley had immediately entered text and for a long while it just stayed that way. Then it stopped with no message sent. A few minutes passed and Ashley finally sent “Ramos man, what are you getting at?” Ramos was almost surprised that Ashley hadn’t tried to deny the allegation, but then again Ashley definitely knows Ramos by now. So, Ramos replied “Oh, I’m just having some fun and I want you to do me a little favor,” Ashley texted, “You know we are are friends. If you needed a favor you could have just asked me. Now you are just walking a thin line. It must be something big if you pulled something like this on me and I won’t even ask where you got it.” Ramos always liked how Ashley wasn’t one for games either. Ramos sent, “If you just come to work tomorrow with no trace of your ‘manly’ scruff then we can forget this picture ever existed.” Ramos could tell Ashley was most likely confused by his request by the amount of time it took the guy to reply. Ashley submissively replied, “I don’t know how that would benefit you Ramos, but I don’t feel like thinking about this anymore. So you win, I guess?” With a fist pumped in the air in a sense of triumph, Ramos hastily sent, “No facial hair tomorrow or the whole precinct will come in to find some brand new wallpaper.” And to end their little chat, Ashley just sent a short “Okay Ramos... See you bright and early tomorrow.”

The next day Ramos walked into the precinct only to see Ashley sitting at his desk with their coworkers sending him perplexed glances. As he strode over to Ashley’s desk, he could see a bright red flush on his ears and neck. Ramos snuck his hand under Ashley’s chin and pulled him up until he could completely see his face. 

Ramos wished he wasn’t so surprised just by Ashley shaving, but the small action had done its work. How could something so simple make such a dramatic change? The definition of Ashley’s jaw became more subtle and his lips seemed more feminine. Well heck, his whole face seemed younger and maybe even delicious. With that though, Ramos reeled himself in. Ashley confidently stated, “I don’t know what you want out of this, but it’s not like I couldn’t handle this for today.” The blush that joined this comment wasn’t very convincing. 

“Ashley, Ashley, Ashley… Were you ever so naive? Today? I’m thinkin’ this ought to be indefinite”, Ramos slyly countered. Ashley slumped under his hands. “Don’t worry pumpkin, it’s not like it’s doing you any harm or would you like the whole precinct to have some new wallpaper?” With his eyes bored into Ramos, Ashley sarcastically quipped, “Sir, no sir!” Ramos smiled and loudly sounded, “That’s my girl” and sauntered off to his own desk for the day. 

Ashley and Ramos hadn’t spoken of this event again. Frankly, Ashley just wanted to forget about the ordeal. He knew the dumb photo shouldn’t have been a big deal, but he didn’t want the guys at the precinct to give him any weird looks. Little did Ashley know, but just by shaving his face, he earned the approving gaze of about the whole damn precinct. It was just the price Ramos would have to pay. Tit for tat.


	3. Ramos Discovering Ashley's Sexuality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ramos always had an interest in Ashley since he began to work at the precinct. He hadn’t pursued said interest at first. Ramos pushed the thought of a potential relationship aside because he wasn’t interested in dating someone who was potentially straight and his boss’s adopted son for that matter. Ashley eventually earned his place within the precinct. He showed his prowess for the field and even brought in baked goods from his “girlfriend” Marie. Ramos shut off his curiosity in the drop of the hat when he heard girlfriend, not that he could say Ashley wasn’t attractive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not chapter 3, but I just felt like posting this one anyways. Hope you enjoy it!

One night Marie, Taylor and Ashley were hanging out back at Marie’s place. The three were having a pleasant night. They chatted about their respective fields of work, things that they were looking forward to and people who had been pissing them off. As it started getting later into the night, Ashley was planning on heading out with the excuse of being a “third wheel”, when Marie ushered him back in and sat him back down. 

On the topic of relationships, Marie wanted to ask her close friend if he had become interested in anyone recently. She knew relationships were touchy with him, so she rarely brought it up. She winked at Taylor and told Ashley they should drink for a bit before he left. Taylor followed her into their kitchen and Marie filled her in on the plan. She wanted to get “Ashie” on a good buzz, so they could get him to spill of his romantic life. Then the couple set in on their plan. Neither one of them drank barely more than a few sips as Ashley downed more than a few glasses. Marie, the little devil, knew that cocktails were his weakness. 

Once his posture began to relax and his eyes became slightly glazed, Marie began carefully prodding at him with seemingly innocent questions. She just asked him if he had been talking to anyone lately and he simply said no, while continuing to cradle his beverage. Taylor was just as curious as Marie herself. In all of the years she had known him, he hadn’t seemed to be in a relationship with anyone. Ashley went on dates here or there with people his Uncle Tom or the guys at the precinct thought he would be interested in. He followed their suggestions out of courtesy, but that was the full extent. Taylor followed Marie’s question with “Are you interested in dating anyone or just getting in on some action?” Ashley laughed in reply, “Taylor, you know me well enough to see that all the action I get come from field work.”

On that note, Marie sprang up and suggested a bar run. Taylor got the hint and agreed, while trying to pull Ashley up off their couch. He shrugged and followed the women into their white 2016 Toyota Prius. Marie drove onwards with on destination in mind. The local gay bar that she and Taylor frequented called “The Queer Quarter.” As they pulled up and parked at the establishment, Marie quickly dragged Ashley out of the car and into the building, so that he wouldn’t have the chance to read the sign. Once the three entered the club, it was all loud music and writhing bodies in a mixture of alcohol and the endless supply of glow sticks that always come with the gays. 

Marie knew the Ashley liked to dance and with more than a few cocktails in his system, he fit in well. The couple knew “The Queer Quarter” was generally a safe establishment, so they distanced themselves from Ashley in hopes that someone else would give him some “action” per se. Ashley hadn’t been paying attention to his surrounding since he left Taylor and Marie’s house, so he just went with the flow and mixed right in with the mess of people. He didn’t usually go out to drink and the probability he would find himself dancing in front of a crowd was even slimmer than that, next to none. Ashley’s drunk mind was thankfully more honest than his sober one. His body took over and enjoyed releasing the stress from work, life in general, by moving to the beat. 

Ashley stayed like this for a what was an immeasurable amount of time for his mind. It could have been two hours or two minutes. He just continued to flow with the crowd as his body instructed. As delightfully buzzed as had he been so far that night, he couldn’t help but be caught off guard as a large pair of hands found their way to his waist. With wide eyes, he quickly stared up at the owner of the fairly intimate hands. 

The stranger looked down at him and confidently asserted, “Babe, don’t be so surprised. Did you think that everyone here would just look over your little show you're putting on here?” The man grabbed his hand and continued, “Would you let me buy you a drink?” It evidently wasn’t a question because the stranger pulled him to the bar before he could even nod yes and he was most definitely going to nod yes. 

By the lights of the bar, Ashley could get a better look at his “captor”. Right off the bat, Ashley noticed dark jeans that hugged the guy’s thick thighs. 1 point for Mr. No Name. The man’s chest was accentuated by his carefully picked out button up that by complete coincidence exposed his muscular arms. What a happy accident, Ashley thought. Two more points to Mr. I’ll Buy You A Drink. At this point, Ashley was staring shamelessly up and down his new friend’s body to which the stranger gave him a wicked grin. 

“I’m not sure if you are looking for a name tag, but the name is Rowan. What would you like to drink sweetheart?” Ashley innocently looked up at Rowan and said honestly, “Excuse me for being so rude. I should have asked for your name, but my brain is a little fuzzy and your jeans are way too distracting. Oh and the name is Johnson.” Rowan just chuckled and replied, “And your choice of drink?” Ashley looked over to the selection on the bar and pointed randomly. Rowan looked down at Ashley in surprise, but informed the bartender that he wanted two Bacardi 151s. 

As the bartender got their drinks, Ashley looked up to Rowan’s face. Neither man seemed embarrassed with his staring. For Rowan, it was hopefully just the start to a more interesting and action inducing night. Ashley was quite pleased with the man’s brown eyes and slight scruff. For a second he thought about how the texture might feel good on his skin, but the bartender interrupted that thought with their drinks. 

He immediately snatched the glass off the counter and tried to take a long chug of the unknown alcohol. It was much stronger than he expected so he set it down, scrunched up his nose and stuck out his tongue just a tad. Rowan let out a laugh at the sight and began to propose a game. He asked the bartender for some shot glasses and poured the Bacardi into the separate glasses. The objective of the game was to down the most shots and whoever lost would pay for the next round of drinks. Ashley wasn’t very competitive as a person, but he couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to wipe that cocky grin off of his challenger’s face. 

At the count of three Rowan shouted, “Go!” In the heat of the moment Ashley didn’t notice that Rowan was only slowing sipping on one shot as Ashley was downing one right after the other. Ashley slammed the last shot down and looked at Rowan with triumph in his eyes. Rowan huffed and conceded to a crippling defeat. He looked at Ashley and said, “You won fair and square, so next round on is me. For now, let’s get back out onto the floor again.” As Ashley went to stand, he was hit with a wave of dizziness at which he started to wobble back down into his seat, but Rowan just grabbed him by the hand and led him back unto the dance floor. 

Fuzzy, oh God his brain was so lost in the music, the people and the alcohol. Ashley never had a high tolerance for alcohol in the first place and Bacardi 151 hadn’t been a random pick in his favor. None of that mattered in the moment though, Ashley decided that it was just too difficult to think, so his body took over. Rowan was right beside Ashley and watched as his inhibitions faded and blinked out into nothing. 

At that moment, Rowan decided it was a good time to make his move. There he was again with his hands firmly planted on Ashley’s sides bringing him closer, but it was different now. He wasn’t just a stranger now. He had a name and had bought Ashley drinks. Ashley was borderline hammered and Rowan was a nice guy, wasn’t he? So, Ashley let himself be brought in closer and let his body do the work. Ashley’s drunken mind couldn’t tell the difference between his body and the other man’s body any more. He didn’t remember them being so close together just a second ago, but that didn’t matter either. With the way that Rowan was holding him tight and looking into his eyes, Ashley’s mind couldn’t force it to matter. Melding in and out, a dancing mass of who and who. 

Ashley was melding even deeper into his stupor when Rowan bit his bottom lip. In surprise, Ashley opened his mouth in a gasp and Rowan took full entry. Ashley’s mind just couldn’t comprehend it. How could Rowan’s tongue do that? Rowan maneuvered his way around Ashley’s mouth like he had done it a thousand times before and Ashley couldn’t even remember if Rowan had or not. All that Ashley could think about was how his knees were betraying him. He decided he would probably not be able to stand for much longer, so he tugged on Rowan’s shirt and slurred, “ ‘m not thinking I can stand. I don’t know what you are doing with your tongue mister, but you need to stop it.” 

At that Rowan did stop, but he then latched his arm around Ashley’s waist and pulled him over to a wall of “The Queer Quarter.” He pushed Ashley up against the wall and just as he started to slip down, Rowan slipped his knee in between his legs and started to assault his poor mouth again. At this point, Ashley just started to submit to Rowan. His brain just couldn’t function no matter how hard he tried. Everything was just surrounded by this thick fog. Good lord, he could feel Rowan though. How could one person do so many things at one time? His mouth just traveled every way that he could find. His knee was doing ungodly things that Ashley’s brain couldn’t even interpret and then with his hands! It was all so overwhelming for Ashley. In every possible way his senses were being overloaded. The music was just as loud as ever and he was getting hotter by the second. Was he going to melt? Ashley was becoming legitimately concerned that he might turn into a liquid under his new friend’s touch. 

All the sudden he couldn’t breathe. It was all becoming way too stimulating even for a brain was that currently on the level of quicksand. In an attempt for fresh air, Ashley turned his head away from Rowan who was content to continue doing whatever he had been doing the whole time. Ashley could barely remember. He breathed deeply and looked out into the crowd. He vaguely remembered coming here in the first place and that he hadn’t driven. He tried to work out the congealed memories from earlier that night. Ashley shivered. It was slightly breezy all of the sudden. He looked down to see Rowan pulling up his shirt. No. Ashley wanted to say no. He wanted to pull he shirt back down, but his whole body felt like lead. His tongue was heavy within his mouth. So off went his shirt, but he just looked back at the dance floor. 

Ashley started to remember that he had made plans to meet up with Taylor and Marie today, so he must have come with them. Where were they? Why hadn’t he seen them this whole time? He scanned the dancing mass to no avail. He looked back to Rowan and forced out, “Have you seen my friends? I need to find my friends.” Rowan didn’t seem to react to what Ashley had asked, so he asked again. The result was the same. Nothing. Ashley started to panic. Why wasn’t Rowan saying anything? Could he not hear him? Was he not really speaking? 

The endless touching was smothering and panic engulfed upon Ashley all the more. He couldn’t breathe. With all the strength he could muster, he tried to push Rowan off of him. The man just wouldn’t budge. “Dude, I just need to find my friends. I can pay you back for the drinks, but I just need to go home.” But once again Rowan didn’t seem interested. Except with the button’s of Ashley’s jeans. 

Ashley felt like he was going to pass out. He desperately searched the crowd for Taylor and Marie. When he couldn’t see them he tried shouting out their names. It was a sad sound, a sad sound that no one could hear over the banging music. Ashley couldn’t help it. His eyes began to heat up and tears spilled over. Ashley didn’t sob or start to yell. His overwhelmed brain just couldn’t handle it anymore, so he cried. 

It was at the point when he started to hear a familiar noise. Perhaps he heard it multiple times, but once again, it didn’t matter. Now Ashley wasn’t suffocating all of the sudden. Once he registered his surroundings again, Rowan was on the floor a few feet away. Everyone was still dancing. Another man was making his way back in Ashley’s direction. Ashley heard the man call out to him. “Ashley!” But, who would say that? No one called him Ashley. Not even Marie.

The man put his hand on Ashley’s shoulder and started asking him questions. Ashley strained to hear over the music. His eyes blurred with tears. Ashley swiped his arm over his face, which created some clarity. He looked up to the man who was still babbling away. What? He blinked a couple of times. He rubbed his eyes again and his heart rate began to run through the roof. 

Oh God, Ashley thought to himself. How could have been so stupid? There has only been one person on this planet to call him Ashley in his adult life. “Lieutenant Ramos, is that you?!” To Ashley’s horror, the man cocked his head and nodded. He then raised his voice even louder, “Ashley, can you hear me? Who did you come with? We need to get you home.” Ashley just stared up at Ramos in panic. Did the second in command of the precinct just see Ashley with another man’s tongue down his throat? 

At the moment, Ashley was sure his heart was going to beat so fast it would explode. “Ashley! I asked you who did you come with?”, Ramos questioned once again. Since his whole life was already screwed, Ashley simply shouted, “Marie and Taylor, sir!” Ramos then proceeded to gently lead Ashley all over the club until he was certain that Ashley was safely going home with the two women right at that exact moment. When Ramos fished the women out of the crowd, they weren’t surprised to see Ramos at “The Queer Quarter”, but they were damn surprised to see Ashley basically passed out in his arms. Ramos looked at the women and commented, “Sadly, it’s not what you think. You need to get Ashley home right now. He has had a rough night and needs to get some rest.” Marie and Taylor thanked Ramos and helped Ashley into their car. He passed out on the drive home, so the two women had to drag the hammered man into their home. With Ashley deposited on the bed of a guest bedroom, they bid his sleeping form a farewell and went on into their shared bedroom. 

Not Finished!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Done!!! 
> 
> I'd love to read any comments, questions, criticisms and/or suggestions!

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to read any of your comments, thoughts, criticisms and suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Have a wonderful day. (Thank you to all of the people in my personal life who gave this a read through.)


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